Travelling with Your Toddler!

We have many families that will soon be bringing home infants and toddlers.  While I am sure they can't wait to be with their new child, air travel with a toddler can be a frightening prospect!  Here is some wonderful advice that I found on several websites:

1.  Find your airline's website.Then search for information about flying with an infant or small child. What you find (or don't find) will tell you a great deal about how helpful they will be when you fly.

2.  Check that your airline allows you to pre-book baby bassinet (sky cot) before the day of travel - not all will.

3.  Allow plenty of time at the airport for check-in, and connecting flights. Remember how much longer it takes to achieve anything with kids in tow and apply the same formula to your travel plans.

4.  Smile sweetly and helplessly at everyone and you may get help!  I have personal experience of being upgraded to first class when travelling with my 11 day old daughter and 2 year old son...

5.  Ask if your flight is full when checking in. Some assistants will block out the seat next to you in a less full flight or offer you the option of seating next to a vacant seat.

6.  Get on the plane first and off the plane last to get a better chance of assistance from cabin crew.

7.  Look out for fast track customs and immigration check points for those traveling with infants.

8.  Pack a small bag with just one diaper, a few wipes, a perfumed diaper bag (walmart has them!) and some rash cream if needed and place it in the seat pocket in front of you.

9.  Some planes have a larger bathroom at the very rear of the plane with a correspondingly larger change table. Wait for this to become free if you have a larger baby to change, as airplane change tables are small.

10.  On some airlines the cabin crew will prepare the change table in one of the toilet cubicles for you if you let them know that you need to use one. That's a real help is you have a squirmy, smelly bundle to hold while wrestling with lowering a change table in the tiny space of an airplane bathroom - so the first time you need to make a change on the plane, ask an assistant where they prefer you to make the change, and take any help offered.

11.  Always test the temperature of food heated in the aircraft galley before you give it to your child. It is often way too hot!

12.  Take your own baby food, bowl and utensils for an infant.

13.  Disposable bibs are a great idea for infant mealtimes on board an airplane.

14.  Ask for bottles and meals to be warmed well in advance of when you need them. Cabin crew don't have a microwave and have to heat using hot water in the galley. This takes time.

15.  Keep two diaper pins attached to your diaper bag. If you can get a window seat (most people will trade you) you can take a blanket and attach it to your seat and the seat in front of you for a privacy screen. People may even help you attach the pins when you're flying alone.

16.  Forget your policy on limiting screen time --- get as much relief as you can from the airplane children’s video channels and games. If you don't trust these, take a portable dvd player with your choice of dvds to view.

17. Bring toys out one by one - get maximum use from them, pack them away, then move on to the next toy.

18.  Get older children to carry their own special tote with basic entertainment contents - stickers, colouring book, reading books,  dolls or cars etc.   I have used playdoh, water "painting" books and molding wax with great success.  My rule of thumb is to provide one activity per 1/2 hour of awake flight time.  For long, overseas flights you may be able to "recycle" activities in rotation to keep the fun fresh.
19.  Snap on wheels for infant car seats are a real bonus if you've booked a seat for your infant and he'll be riding in his car seat. They can be taken onto the plane but take the assembly apart before check in to reduce the appearance of bulk. You'll love the convenience of wheels as you move around the airport.


20. Small travel strollers will fit in the luggage bins of 747's or larger aircraft but airlines have become increasingly strict about not allowing these on board.


21. An infant front pack or sling is really helpful so that you can carry baby while you push a luggage trolley.

22.  For the chance that your child might not travel well - take along additional scented diaper sacks as sick bags. They tie up to keep the contents in and the odour neutraliser does help! Handy also for storing smelly clothes.

23.  Because airplane bathrooms are small, keep a diaper, small pack of wipes, tube of lotion, lightweight plastic change mat/hand towel, and diaper bag  in a side pocket of your cabin bag. Take only these essential items into the bathroom for each diaper change and restock the side pocket once you have resettled baby

24,  Take a bottle of Rescue Remedy for everyone else in the family except baby;)
25.  Take an extra-large purse as a carry on. That way you can fit in extra things like toys, snacks, wipes and a fresh diaper. Remember to check TSA guidelines to be sure you can take everything in your bag through security.

26.  The safest way for baby or toddler to fly is in an approved car seat used as a flight seat.  this will also limit a toddlers sense of mobility and make chasing them up and down the aisle less likely!  Check the base of your infant or toddler car seat to look for the FAA approved sticker --- if you can't find one, check the manufacturer's instructions or contact the manufacturer to find out if the seat is approved for use in airplanes.

27. Print out a copy of the FAA's Childproof your Flight brochure (pdf), read it, and also take it with you when you fly --- especially if you are going to fly non-US airlines, which do not always allow car seats on planes without authoritative persuasion. Use this brochure as part of your authoritative persuasion if you have to. Please note that airlines usually ask that car seats are located in window seats so that other passengers can access their seats easily.

28.  In Europe, Asia, and Australia you will be asked to secure your child on your lap using a lap or belly belt. You may also use a Baby B'Air travel vest during the main flight section of your journey, but you will be

29.  The location of many bassinet seats immediately in front of the screen is unsettling for some babies, and can be irritating to parents trying to coax toddlers to sleep.

30.  Take cotton sheets to wrap baby or a toddler and to erect as a light shield over a bassinet.

31.  Be prepared to lose stuff (and don't get upset when you do).

32. Treat any time to relax as a bonus.

33.  Keep smiling at the baby.

34.  Ignore rude people, especially those whose job it is to help. Only you can know the right way to handle your child.

35.  Consider booking seats apart from one another if traveling with a partner. This way, one adult can rest whilst the other entertains the children.

36.  Work out responsibilities clearly between parents before setting off.

37.  Forget about style when choosing your traveling clothes - go for comfort, ease of wear and plenty of layers that can be removed if spills happen.

38.  Dress your child in distinctive clothing to avoid losing him in crowded airport lounges.

39.  Take a simple change of clothing for you and for your child in case of spills. Cotton jersey worn in layers is good. Just mix and match as you go and as spills happen.

TB Test Requirement for the US Embassy

In many countries (Ethiopia, China and now India) the US Embassy requires children receive a tb test by a panel physician.  The tuberculosis skin test (also known as the tuberculin test or PPD test) is a test used to determine if someone has developed an immune response to the bacterium that causes tuberculosis (TB). This response can occur if someone currently has TB, if they were exposed to it in the past, or if they received the BCG vaccine against TB (which is not performed in the U.S.). The World Health Organization estimates that 2 billion people worldwide have latent TB, while around 3 million people worldwide die of TB each year.


If a child tests positive to the PPD test they will be required to receive a chest x-ray to insure they have no signs of TB.  If the chest x-ray is also positive they will be required to undergo treatment prior to entry into the US.  This treatment can take several weeks, delaying an adoptive child's return to the US with their new family.

Waiting Toddler Boys in Ethiopia!

Our list of little boys waiting unmatched for families just grew this morning....it looks like seven new little boys will be added to our waiting child page sometime next week.  We would love to have loving families or single moms to match these darlings with.  If you have been considering an Ethiopia adoption and long to add a little boy to your life now would be a great time. 

Investment Parenting!

I encourage everyone to take a little time from their busy schedule and listen to The Connected Child on Creating a Family blog radio.  It is a practical overview of how adoptive parents can work to improve their bond with their new child.  The overwhelming theme is that ALL children can   if their parents are willing to INVEST time in forming a healthy bond. 

It is really interesting to hear how Neonatal and even PRENATAL malnutrition can contribute to attachment issues.  Interestingly enough, the age of the child at adoption is not as crucial as the child having had consistent nurturing care during the first two years of life.  An older child may grieve the loss of the caregiver they were attached to, but be able to form healthy attachements with their new parents.  One other interesting fact was that special needs children often have a better caregiver to child ratio which may give them an advantage in forming healthy attachments!

Focus on Special Needs...Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

The potentially negative consequences of alcohol abuse during pregnancy have been suspected since biblical times. The relationship between maternal alcohol abuse during pregnancy and developmental birth defects is well-documented in psychological and medical literature. An accurate diagnosis of FAS or Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE), in which patients display partial effects of the syndrome and evidence many of the same problems as full-blown FAS, must be made by a doctor or geneticist. However, identification of children possibly affected by prenatal alcohol exposure can be carried out by professionals involved in service delivery.

Characteristics of FAS/FAE

Patients with FAS are of short stature, slight build, and have a small head. Typically they are below the third to tenth percentile compared to national norms. A pattern of dysmorphic facial features characterizes these persons as well, and include 1) short eye openings; 2) a short, upturned nose; 3) smooth area between the nose and mouth; and 4) a flat midface and thin upper lip. The facial patterns made FAS patients recognizable although not grossly malformed. In addition, these patients can display other physical anomalies including 1) minor joint and limb abnormalities; 2) cardiac defects; 3) dental anomalies; and 4) vision and hearing problems.

Intellectual Capabilities

A considerable range of intellectual functioning is found among patients with FAS. In a report of twenty cases of varying severity, Ann P. Streissguth and colleagues reported a range of IQ scores from 16 to 105 with a mean IQ of 65. Severity of the syndrome was related to IQ, with the most severely affected children having the lowest IQ scores.

Behavior

There are many behavioral characteristics which differentiate FAS patients from other mentally retarded individuals. Socially, they tend to be very outgoing and socially engaging, yet they are frequently seen by others as intrusive, overly talkative, and generally unaware of social cues and conventions. Poor social judgment and poor socialization skills are common: many patients are hungry for attention, even negative. Due to their social immaturity, they have difficulty establishing friendships, especially with children of the same age. The potential for both social isolation and exploitation of individuals with FAS in very evident. Hyperactivity is frequently cited as a problem for young children who characteristically have short attention spans. Many also have memory problems, thus creating further setbacks to adaptive functioning and academic achievement later on.

NEEDS OF THE PATIENT WITH FAS

Medical Needs

Patients with FAS/FAE typically have complex medical needs associated with their higher than average congenital anomalies. Infants are at risk for central nervous system problems, including a weak suck and feeding and sleeping difficulties as well as failure to thrive. Birth control and sex education for adolescents with FAS are additional areas of medical concern. As adolescents, these children tend to be sexually curious, yet often lack understanding of socially appropriate sexual behavior. Thus, they are at higher than average risk for sexual victimization due to their impulsive behavior and poor social judgment.

Educational Needs

Children with FAS/FAE have special educational needs. Even very young infants can benefit from early stimulation programs to help with intellectual and motor development. These programs are now widely available, with some even offered at home by traveling therapists and educators.

Preschoolers often have a range of developmental and language delays as well as signs of hyperactivity, irritability, and distractibility. Preschool programs which follow individualized educational plans are helpful for the child as well as for the parents who gain valuable respite time to regroup from the intense demands of these children.

Appropriate placement in special education classes beginning in elementary school is often necessary for children with FAS/FAE. A small classroom setting with clear guidelines and a great deal of individual attention can maximize the intellectual capabilities of these learners. Although intensive remedial education has not been show to increase the intellectual capabilities of children with FAS/FAE, it may prevent further deterioration.

Many patients with fetal alcohol syndrome reach an academic plateau in high school. Many will be unable to hold a regular job. Nonetheless, all of these students need to know basic life skills, including money management, safety skills, interpersonal relating, and so forth. These tasks will enrich their adult lives and allow them a degree of independence. The addition of such a life-skills component to the special education curricula for FAS students can be invaluable. Wherever possible and appropriate, vocational training should be part of the high school experience. Unfortunately, most vocational and technical institutes beyond high school will offer a curricula too academically rigorous for developmentally delayed individuals.

Family Needs

Patients with FAS/FAE are at a higher than average risk for physical and sexual abuse and neglect when raised in their families of origin. These children need a supportive, loving home environment with clear guidelines and clear lines of communication in order to develop to their fullest potential. When foster (or adoptive) placement is necessary, the greatest progress is made by calm, low key individuals, who are secure and comfortable with themselves and live stable and predictable lives. Families who treat the FAS child as normally as possible, combining loving acceptance with firm limit setting seem more satisfied than do those who have high performance expectations.

Due to their poor social judgment, underdeveloped independent living skills and impaired intellectual functioning, most FAS children will require a structured, sheltered living situation throughout their lives. The most severely affected may require a completely supervised and sheltered environment. For more functional patients, a group home or halfway house for developmentally disabled adults may be appropriate if continued residents with a family is not possible or desirable.

ATTACHING IN ADOPTION & NURTURING ADOPTIONS

These books provide two excellent resources for families as they help their children adjust to a new life in their home – Attaching in Adoption and Nurturing Adoptions by Deborah Gray. The first book was published in 2002 and my children were already fourteen years old (adopted domestically). I immediately wished I had read it years before, but even then it had helpful little parenting techniques that were beneficial. In one of her vignettes, the father says to the child who was pushing the limits, “I wouldn’t be a good parent if I let you do” such-and-such. That struck me as a different approach and the next time I faced a situation where my kids were trying to get away with things that would not have been good for them, I tried it out and voila’ they looked at me and said, “Oh” and stopped. They looked at me like, “I suppose you have to be a good parent” and backed right down. I’m not saying that this became my number one method of interaction, but the little insights that Deborah gives in this book go beyond attachment issues themselves.

The first book centers on a discussion of the importance of attachment, how it happens, what interferes with it and what can be done to help a child attach to their new family. Deborah has worked with very difficult children and her book is full of examples of experiences of families and the ways they have dealt with attachment and have become healthier. The book is well written and readable whether you are an adoption professional or adoptive parent.

The second book, Nurturing Adoptions: Creating Resilience after Neglect and Trauma, published in 2007, has more emphasis on the experiences a child has had before they entered their new home and how these experiences impact the child and their ability to attach to their new family. The book is divided into two sections, the first half is a discussion of the impact of neglect and trauma; the second half are specific interventions and things that a family or therapist can do to help the child relax and re-learn about life in a new way and with new responses. Again, this book is very readable for parent or professional and well worth the cost! Both have been out long enough that there should be low-cost used copies readily available. Both books are a treasure of information, insight and resources. I recommend them highly!

For more information on Deborah Gray please go to http://www.deborahdgray.com/!



Kathy L, MA

Special Focus Child Nicholas waiting in Asia!

Dear Little Nicholas is a true 4 year old full of vigor and is ready to go- go -go! He is as handsome as be and has a smile that warms your heart!! He is living just outside the capital city of Inner Mongolia. He is a son of the vast grasslands of Mongolia. His city's name means "where the deer are found" and is located at the foot of the Yinshan Mountains, and on the bank of the Yellow River. It is also where the oldest section of the Great Wall is found.



We are so truly hopeful that for a family, their "little DEAR" can be found in the adoption of this curious and delightful little boy. Nicholas entered his SWI when he was 1 month old but is currently living with a foster family to whom he has a close attachment. His special need is that he has an abnormal development of his right eye. He likely has little or no vision in his right eye but it has not slowed him down in the least! He is capable of doing everything from running and playing to talking up a storm and he is writing Chinese characters too... AT FOUR YEARS OLD! Nicholas has a wonderful personality and interacts with both kids and adults who say he likes to LAUGH alot. Like most boys his age he is smitten with with balls, little planes, cars and guns but he also likes to draw, learn to write and play counting games. He sounds like a remarkable little boy who has adapted to the vision loss in his right eye and is healthy and robust in every other way.

There are also websites that can help families understand vision loss better.

Two of those websites:  http://kidshealth.org/teen/diseases_conditions/sight/visual_impairment.html and http://www.afb.org/ (American Foundation for the Blind) are great basic resources.  Please take a minute and go to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CHIWaitingkids/photos/album/1196536476/pic/list and look at his darn cute pictures! This little guy is bound to bring his laughter with him to a "for always family" of his own.